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After seeing the amazing Chuck Palahniuk at Mad Art Gallery last night, there were few options for a good burg. I knew that Venice Cafe would have funky food, but I was looking for something a little more substantial. 

Someone reminded me about Hammerstone’s, a bar only 3 blocks from the most popular bar in Soulard, McGurk’s. 

So off we went. Parking was hard to find, but the bar was nearly empty on a Tuesday night.

The burgers here come in 2 varieties : 1/2lb and 1/4lb. Being a man of significant hunger, I chose the former. 

The 1/2lb burg comes with your standard array of veggies, an onion slice, some soggy pickles, some limp lettuce and a gross tomato. 

The burg itself was good, but nothing extraordinary. It was on the dry side, the bun was so Plain-Jane and the fries were nothing to write home about. 

That’s not to say it wasn’t good. It was a serviceable burg with everything you’d expect. Workmanlike, generic. Which is not what we’re after here. 

That said, the place is a sports bar at heart, with drunk Cards fans filtering in post-game to listen to the wonky singer/songwriters mangle Beatles tunes. If you enjoy that sort of thing and can withstand a mediocre burg, have at it. 

Also : draft beers are relatively cheap, with PBR starting at $2. So, if you drink enough of those, maybe the burger gets better?



Veggie Burger Showdown

Yes, this site is dedicated to the beefy, delicious King of Sandwiches, but for those of you who are trying to eat healthy, or trying to cut back on your red meat consumption, Veggie or Vegan burgers can be a good substitute for “the real deal”.

The two most popular Veggie/Vegan brands are Boca, who have the copyright on the name “Boca Burger”, and Morningstar Farms, a young upstart company whose website is .

Each company has a great selection of burgers, but Morningstar’s beats all comers with its huge variety.

For the purposes of this blog, we’ll select the Morningstar Cheddar Burger and the Boca Cheeseburger.

Since both start off on equal footing, judging can be more objective. At least, that’s the idea.

In the size department, Boca has a slight 1oz advantage – Morningstar’s burg is about 9oz and Boca’s is 10.

Their nutritional values are close enough to be identical, as is their ingredient list.

So the showdown begins.

Once you heat them up, the difference becomes clear.

Boca’s burger oozes the cheese-substitute, which coats the burg in a film that’s very unpleasant to look at. It tastes OK, but is lacking the appropriate flavoring to trick this burger-loving fool into thinking it’s real meat. You can taste the artificialness of the Boca, as well as the distinct flavor of awful soy by-product.

Morningstar Farms’ burger, on the other hand, stays firm and non-greasy after being heated. When served on a bun, as all burgers should be, it more closely resembles its meaty counterpart in both texture and smell, which is about 1/2 of the eating experience. The taste, if expressed in musical terms, is the Usher to Boca’s Milli Vanilli. To take that metaphor further, the burg sings off the plate, dances around the Boca burger and steals its Grammy. That said, it’s still a veggie burger. It lacks some of the greasy goodness that meat-based burgs tend to have, but it’s easy to miss it when the veggie burg tastes as close as humanly possible to genuine article.

The clear victor in this case is Morningstar Farms. I love meaty, greasy burgers, but I’d be willing to stock my fridge with Morningstar Farms. That says a lot.

Gotta burg.

You know it the moment it happens. You’re walking down Washington Ave or strolling the Loop, and it hits you like a 1/3 pound kick to the stomach. You’re burgin’. You’ve got “the burg”. Whatever you want to call it, you know that if you don’t get a burger soon, you’ll end up regretting it. 

The phrase “burgin'” comes to us from the comedy writers at SomethingAwful, whose writer Johnny “DocEvil” Titanium put the bug in my brain that burgers are the King of Sandwiches.

My friend Jeremy, who created this fine wordpress blog, called me the other day and left me a cryptic message. I’ll try to recreate it as best I can. 

“Hey man, I was out at Courtesy [Diner] last night and I had a thought, what if we did a website where you review burgers?”

For those of you who don’t know Courtesy Diner, it’s the kind of greasy-spoon diner that is known for its burgers. 

For those who don’t know about us, we are burger fiends. We have a burger problem. We go to meetings. We have burger sponsors. But we’re going off the wagon, buckling into our fat pants and getting out the word about the best burgers in our town. 

We’re working towards implementing a system where others can input their reviews of burgers, tell us about burgin’ around their hometown and a burger scoring system based on basic factors like size, greasiness, veggie freshness, side options, cheese choices and many many more. 

Look forward to a lot of burgin in the near future. 

Welcome to Ask Me About My Burger!